


The Cure For Loneliness

by thesoundofnat



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Everybody Lives, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 15:18:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5168687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoundofnat/pseuds/thesoundofnat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Why can’t you sleep?”</p>
<p>“Oh, uh...” Bilbo didn’t know if he should be honest or not. Thorin might think he was silly if he knew.</p>
<p>“Bed too big?” Thorin answered for him instead. “Too lonely?”</p>
<p>Bilbo exhaled in relief. “Yeah. It’s...well, overwhelming.”</p>
<p>(Or, Thorin asks Bilbo to stay at Erebor for a while. All is well until Bilbo is forced to sleep alone for the first time in ages. It’s just way too lonely in that bed. He’s not the only one feeling this way, though. Everyone lives AU.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cure For Loneliness

**Author's Note:**

> We watched BOTFA last night, so I obviously had to write something today. This is also a belated birthday gift to my love, Abi. I hope you like it!
> 
> Also posted on my tumblr thesoundofnat.tumblr.com

When they managed to reclaim Erebor, when they won the war, Bilbo expected the dwarves to scream their throats raw with happiness. After all this time they were finally back where they belonged; alive and semi well.

But no one so much as said a thing. Once Thorin had given away what was promised they all just sat down for a while, not talking, not laughing, not even smiling. Numb. Not knowing how to feel.

Bilbo suspected that some of them were scared to cheer just yet, because things could easily change, but they set out to start rebuilding their home anyway. So far, so good.

Thorin had asked Bilbo to stay, and Bilbo couldn’t deny them his help, so he did what he could, but mostly he felt like he was in the way.

This went on for a couple of weeks, and somehow it still felt like they were on their journey. They had a strategy and daily goals, and everything was very businesslike in the morning only to end in overtired laughter and annoyance in the evening. Nothing had really changed. They even slept in piles on the floor, because neither of them felt quite safe just yet.

But once the outer walls had been built again Thorin couldn’t deny any of them a warm bed, so for the first time in ages they got to sleep comfortably, with no fear, and, most importantly, separately.

That last part threw Bilbo off.

He knew that most of them were happy to finally get some privacy and alone time, but for him, who had spent almost all his life alone and loving it, it wasn’t something he was looking forward to at all.

And that confused him even more.

During the entirety of the trip Bilbo had ached for his bed at Bag End. Ached for some welcoming weeks alone. But now he didn’t know if he’d be able to handle it. Maybe it was because he’d gotten used to being around the dwarves. Used to Fili and Kili’s antics before bedtime. Used to Bombur’s never ending snoring.

It would feel weird to sleep in silence.

He avoided going to bed for as long as he could, but exhaustion isn’t patient, so he was soon yawning his jaw off, and Balin told him to go to bed countless of times before he was forced to comply.

He felt colder under those covers than he’d had in any cave. The bed was too big, and it had nothing to do with the fact that dwarves were bigger than him. There was too much space, too many opportunities to feel alone. He didn’t feel at peace at all.

The room was dark and still, and Bilbo imagined seeing faces everywhere he looked. The fact that he was alone wasn’t comforting, so he soon found himself hiding under the thick blanket, his lips pressed tightly together.

How could he ever return to The Shire like this?

Bilbo shuddered and emerged for air. He stared at the ceiling, trying to force his mind to shut off before closing his eyes to wait for sleep to come. It didn’t.

Bilbo didn’t know where he was going, but his feet touched the cold stone floor and walked toward the door on their own accord. Bilbo was simply being dragged along.

The rest of the place was even more eerie at this hour than his room had been, but he trudged on, looking for something to help him with his sudden insomnia. Maybe someone was still awake. Maybe someone had the same problem as he did. Maybe they could help each other.

He saw a dwarf sleeping against a wall, clearly having nodded off as he’d been working, but it wasn’t a dwarf Bilbo knew. Probably one of Dain’s army. Feeling slightly sadder than before Bilbo passed him quietly. He thought the sight of someone else would at least cheer him up a bit, but he realized that it didn’t matter if it wasn’t the sight of one of the Company.

Bilbo found himself wishing Gandalf was still here. He’d left pretty early; claiming he had other things to take care of now that the retaking of Erebor was done. Bilbo missed him. He knew that Gandalf would understand if he saw him wandering around in the dark. Gandalf would probably already be at his side by now. He would’ve felt his discomfort.

Bilbo honestly didn’t know where he was. He’d walked too far. He’d probably passed the others’ bedrooms ages ago. And yet he couldn’t stop walking. The endless halls reminded him of Rivendell. He found that thought comforting.

“Bilbo?”

He stopped at last, his heart almost leaping out of his throat. He whipped around so fast that he felt dizzy, trying to focus his gaze on the figure in front of him.

“Thorin.”

Thorin looked as if he hadn’t slept at all, and yet Bilbo was sure it had been a while since they all went to bed.

“What are you doing here?”

Thorin raised an amused eyebrow. “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

Bilbo shook his head. “I went for a walk. And I couldn’t stop. I don’t even know where I am to be quite honest with you.” He looked around for a few seconds, not really seeing much in the darkness. He turned back to Thorin and added, “I couldn’t sleep.”

Understanding swept over Thorin’s face. “Neither could I.”

A brief silence settled then, and it was the most comfortable silence Bilbo had experienced all night.

“So do you know where we are?” Bilbo eventually asked, just to have something to do.

Thorin broke eye contact and looked behind Bilbo. “We’re just outside my bedroom.”

Bilbo’s eyebrows disappeared under his fringe. “Oh! I knew my feet must’ve subconsciously been taking me somewhere…” He trailed off, realizing what it was he was saying. “Anyway. I won’t keep you up. I mean, I guess I’m not since you can’t sleep. Why can’t you sleep, if I may ask?”

Thorin sighed. “Being home is rather overwhelming.”

Bilbo’s expression softened. “I can see why.”

“Why can’t you sleep?”

“Oh, uh...” Bilbo didn’t know if he should be honest or not. Thorin might think he was silly if he knew.

“Bed too big?” Thorin answered for him instead. “Too lonely?”

Bilbo exhaled in relief. “Yeah. It’s...well, overwhelming.”

“Understandable.”

Bilbo shuffled a bit where he was standing. “I should probably-”

“Share a bed with me. Great idea, Master Burglar.”

Bilbo was too stunned to reply, so he only followed Thorin wordlessly into the room.

The darkness made it hard for Bilbo to see anything in particular other than the object in the middle that had to be the bed. It seemed even bigger than the bed Bilbo had been given. Thorin led him to it, and both of them got under the covers quickly.

Sleeping next to someone on a bed was a lot more intimate than sleeping next to someone on the floor, Bilbo noted. He moved around a bit, trying to find a comfortable way to lay without disturbing Thorin too much, but the King under the Mountain only pulled him closer, his arms encircling him.

“I hope this is okay,” Thorin mumbled, his breath hitting the side of Bilbo’s face.

“It is, don’t worry,” Bilbo replied.

Bilbo could hear Thorin smiling when he said, “Good.”

And it was. As soon as Bilbo got over how close they were he fell asleep in no time. Let’s just say that the bed he’d been given was never used by him again.


End file.
